Our Confidence

noun \ˈkän-fə-dən(t)s, -ˌden(t)s\
: a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something
: a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something
: the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true

Confidence determines outcomes.

My 10 year old son started playing All Star Baseball this year. I’ve always enjoyed watching baseball, but never fully realized how mental and emotional this game can be. It’s easy to tell when the boys are feeling more or less confident. Confidence affects their outcomes. When they get ahead in hits and runs their confidence is high. They step up to the plate and go to battle every time. I can see the confidence on their faces. When their confidence is shattered, they don’t look the same. They make more errors and get fewer hits & runs. And I haven’t even talked about pitching yet. Pitchers have the toughest job of all and require the most confidence.

Our little Jr. Buck team has had some amazing victories this year and some emotional losses. I’m thinking that 10 year old baseball is just as intense as the MLB world series….minus the audience. The world might not be watching, but the competition feels just as fierce.

Right now they are learning that everyone makes mistakes, and those mistakes can not take them out of the game. One error in baseball can be very costly, but they are learning that they can not allow that one mistake to play into their next at-bat, pitch, or catch. The coaches will encourage them to, “shake it off”, parents will cheer, “it’s ok…get the next one.”


Wait…am I talking about baseball or real life?

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a voice over our shoulder every time we messed up affirming us that our identity is not found in how we perform, but in who we are? Oh, yes! There is such a voice of affirmation:

But Christ is faithful as the Son over God’s house. And we are his house, if indeed we hold firmly to our confidence and the hope in which we glory. Hebrews 3:6

And what an incredible confidence it is! Confidence here connotes the following: freedom, unreserved-ness, fearless confidence, and cheerful courage. (Thanks Dr. Dav for that research!)

In other words..when we step up to the plate of life, we can swing with full confidence, knowing that we will succeed. Our success is guaranteed because of the finished work of the cross. I’m not talking about finances or fame here, I’m talking about success that comes from knowing who you belong to and finishing your race with confidence in Him.

Woah! Now that is something to meditate on and celebrate!


Saying Goodbye

This is our last weekend with our almost ten month old foster son.  He will leave as suddenly as he came.


Here is the back story:

Almost three years ago our friends who do foster care got a newborn baby boy.  His Dad was in jail and His Mom was not involved.  The Dad had two other son’s that his parental rights had been terminated on.  The state was going to terminate on this one as well.  As far as our friends knew, they were going to be adopting this little one.  The night before the termination hearing the lawyer for the state changed her mind and decided it would be best to go for a parenting plan for the Dad.  A few months later, when he was 15 months old, L went back to his birth father.


The state continued to monitor them for a short time.  Nine months later our friends got a phone call that L needed to be placed back in foster care and that there was also a newborn baby brother.  Our friends knew they wanted L back, but could not take in the newborn as they had already taken in another infant a few months prior.  They had the newborn brother (M)  for a night while DFS looked for a foster home for him.


Because we are good friends and live close, I was over at their home in the morning helping out with the three under-two-year-olds.  DFS called my friend at noon and said that they could not find a home for M.  There were no stay-at-home foster parents and he was too young for day care.  My husband and I had done some foster care in the past.  We fostered two newborns over 2 ½  years and ended up adopting both of them.  (This is one of our adoption stories) Our licence had expired, but my heart was being pulled.  Here was an orphan on my door step.  I could not look away.  It was like Jesus was asking me, “will you take care of him…will you take care of me?”  My heart was broken.


I called my husband who was visiting his parents with our four children and told him about this situation.  There was some hesitation in both of us, but ultimately we knew we needed to take M in.  I called the social worker and asked her if we could take him.  They were able to licence us that day and M came home with me.  The rest of my family came back home two days later.


Initially we thought that M would only be with us for three weeks.  That plan fell through.  DFS searched for other relatives that could take him, and that didn’t work out either.  So here we are, nine months later, and he is going back to his birth parents.


To say our hearts are breaking would be an understatement.  Foster care is such a mixed bag.  I have true compassion for his parents, and I am praying for ultimate Justice and redemption for them and for M.


What is in front of us right now is most likely one of the most difficult things we have ever done.  We have loved M like our own son.  Our friends still have his older brother (L) and will hopefully be adopting him in the coming months.  When the boys came into care last summer  their Dad signed off his rights to L.  He saw that the best thing for him was to stay with our friends.  The boys have different Moms.  Our little guys is his birth mom’s first child.  They have done everything the State has asked them to do.  Clean UA’s, made all their visits, parenting classes, therapy, drug rehab, etc.


This is not the end of their story or M’s.  The parents are facing criminal charges for Felony Child Endangerment.  Knowing what happened in that case makes sending M home more challenging emotionally for us.


We have no other option than to trust God.  Trust that God will keep him.  Trust that God will be sovereign in M’s life.  Trust that God will continue to restore his Mom and Dad.  Trust that we will be able to stay in touch with him and be a part of his life in some way.


This weekend will be a time of saying good bye.  I might post again…the emotions are overwhelming and this is a good outlet for me to grieve.  I am so thankful for our friends who are with us in this.  I’ve had text’s, phone calls, and even a very comforting song that my friend Barb got from the Lord for us. Maybe I’ll share that in my next post.


All I can say is that when God calls us to something He does not guarantee a happy ending.  At the same time, I have no regrets.  I have learned to love more unconditionally….more like Jesus.

We will never be the same.


We Will Laugh

There are things we take seriously in this life that we’ll laugh at in the next.

 Everyone who’s put their hope in what Jesus did for them through His crucifixion and resurrection is destined for an eternity in heaven that is incomprehensible.  None of us can even imagine what it will be like to live day after day after day after day in the presence of God (Father, Holy Spirit, and Jesus)  and with every believer throughout all of history and time.  I think we can gain glimpses and revelation of what Heaven will be like, but until we are permanently in our eternal home, we are left to read, imagine and dream about what it will be like.

 Some of the things we find important on earth are not going to matter to us at all in Heaven.  Here is a list of five things.  Five things we take seriously now….that we will laugh together about in Heaven.


1) Denominationalism

This is number one for a reason.  I honestly believe this will be the first thing we will laugh about.  We’re going to laugh because remembering how divisive we were is actually going to seem quite funny in light of the perfect unity we will eternally dwell in.  Think about it.  We will not be “Baptist” or “Lutheran” or “Pentecostal” or any other specific name.  We will be “The Bride of Christ”  Period.  End. Of. Story. There will be no differences in theology. We will know fully even as we are fully known. We will love and be loved perfectly.  There will be no relational insecurities, jealousy or miss-trust.  We will honor and deeply appreciate everyone as we spend eternity getting to know one another better.  Our individual worship style will be as unique as we are, but our unity in worship will be unparalleled to anything we experienced on earth.


2) Gender-ationalism

Yes.  I just made that word  up.  I’m referring to the debate in the Church about the roles of Men and Women.  Come on now…do you really think there will be any debate in Heaven about weather a woman can teach?  Or what it means to submit?  Nope. None. Nada.  I only hear laughing….very hysterical laughing.


3) Stress about lack

We will laugh at how much we stressed over finances and time.  These two things will not be an issue in eternity.   There’s no lack in heaven.  We will have all the time and resources to do whatever we desire to do no matter what the cost or the amount of time it might take. Hallelujah!


4) Loss and grief

There is nothing funny about loss in this life.  Most of the time our reaction is anything from sadness to deep mourning.  However, in eternity, we will be stunned by how deeply we grieved the loss of our brothers and sisters who graduated to Heaven.


5) Thoughts that heaven will be boring

Heaven is going to be everything except boring.   We will laugh and laugh about our ideas of heaven being a place with nothing to do except sit around and sing with angels with harps on clouds.  Heaven is going to be the ultimate experience and it will last for ever and ever.  It will be incredible fun.  Check out this video if you have ever thought otherwise.




Christmas Snow

Christmas Snow

A voice from Heaven spoke clear, without show.

“Go, tell it on the Mountain…it’s going to snow.”


In a manger He was swaddled and laid.

Every curse against man was about to be paid.


He grew up in wisdom, grace, and favor.

The still small voice He could hear without labor.


A voice from Heaven spoke clear, without show.

“Go, tell it on the Mountain…it’s going to snow.”


God in the flesh; blameless and pure.

Was about to become mankind’s cure.


One obedient step at a time

He did not shrink back from Calvary’s climb.


A voice from Heaven spoke clear, without show.

“Go, tell it on the Mountain…it’s going to snow.”


He’s body was broken; in a tomb He was laid.

Little did they know; their debts He had paid.


The final card was in His hand.

This play would be felt throughout all the land.


Curses, shame, and all unrest

Are far from us, as east is to west.


A voice from Heaven speaks clear, without show.

“Sin’s red stain forever gone;   you are white as snow.”



When Push Comes To Shove

Yesterday I enjoyed an amazing ski day at Big Sky Resort all by myself.  It was an introvert’s dream.  Thanks to my iphone I was able to follow Facebook, and unless you live in a hole in the ground, you know that everyone was talking about comments made by Duck Dynasty’s patriarch Phil Robertson in an interview with GQ.

The Duck Dynasty controversy, in my opinion, is not so much about A & E vs. Phil Robertson,  as it is about relative  vs. absolute truth.  Phil was backed into a corner and asked questions about where he stands on a specific topic.

Those who stand on the side of relative truth believe truth is defined individually.  It is up to each person to decide what is true for them.  Those who believe in absolute truth believe something outside of themselves defines truth.  Phil is in the later group.

If you follow the “truth is relative”  line of thinking consistently you have to take anything off of the table as “wrong” because if it’s up to an individual to decide right from wrong, then anything can be morally right.  And by anything…I mean ANYTHING.

Those who hold to a belief that there is such a thing as absolute truth believe that something outside of our own feelings or opinions defines truth.  Most in this group look to the Bible as a guide for defining what is right from wrong.

It comes as no surprise that I am in this later group.  I love the Bible because it is more than just a book.  It is a living word.    The very best part is that the word came in the flesh as Jesus.  He is the word, and I have access to Him!  I can talk to Him and He talks back.  His presence is felt in increasing ways as I grow in intimacy with Him.  I will live with Him for all of eternity because He came and took my place in death.  Forever and ever  I will worship Him face to face, and He will sing over me, in an eternal exchange of affection.

Whatever your opinion was about yesterday’s Duck Dynasty controversy,  you must now recognize that a line has been drawn in the sand.  Our culture has been approaching this moment for years and now there is no turning back.

I wish  Phil had said things in a different way, but I can not disagree with his stand about what is right and what is wrong.

His follow up comments brought clarity:

 “I myself am a product of the ’60s; I centered my life around sex, drugs and rock and roll until I hit rock bottom and accepted Jesus as my Savior. My mission today is to go forth and tell people about why I follow Christ and also what the Bible teaches, and part of that teaching is that women and men are meant to be together.

“However, I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me. We are all created by the Almighty and, like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other.”

The topic of homosexuality is a prime target for those who want to bring persecution against the Christian church.  It’s  a hard issue to address because it’s so deeply personal.  If we say murder is a sin,  few people will argue or be offended.  But when we say that the act of homosexuality is a sin we are suddenly hateful.

I have wrestled with this for years.  My husband and I have had hours and hours of conversation about this topic.  We have friends who are homosexuals.  We love them, and we have shown that love in very tangible ways.  I have ministered to gays and lesbians.  I have counseled and prayed with them.  They know exactly what I believe about homosexual acts, and they know that I love them.

It is VERY VERY difficult to say in one line “I love the GLBT community” and “I believe that their actions are morally wrong.”   Oh how I wish it were easier.  The good news is that there are homosexuals who do get it.  Some even spoke out yesterday in Phil’s defense.

The GQ interview was a push comes to shove moment for the Church.  When push comes to shove, what is our belief?

Misunderstanding and persecution are the same thing.  Jesus was completely misunderstood by the religious leaders. Those who backed Phil into a corner did so because their intent was to bring persecution.   I feel a boldness that is increasing in my heart to proclaim the truth in love.  I do not want to fear persecution because I believe  when persecution hits, there is  an increase of boldness and kingdom expansion.

My prayer for those who hold fast to absolute truth, is that we will   recognize this  increased freedom and favor to share Christ’s love and truth in humility this season.  God is by nature a redeemer, and I am confident that He is going to take this controversy and use it for His utmost good.


What Are The Walls Of Jerusalem Made Of?

What are the walls of Jerusalem made of?
How do they stand?
From everlasting to everlasting
Your name is strong in this land.

What are the walls of Jerusalem made of?
Are you awake and aware?
Men who have bent knee
Women who sacrifice and dare.

What are the walls of Jerusalem made of?
Will they prevail?
Mighty and vibrant are those
Your watchmen who travail.

What are the walls of Jerusalem made of?
Do you see? Do you care?
Tears and sweat poured out
In His suffering you surely share.

I’m standing on the wall of Jerusalem today.
Our future home, a Holy place.
Coming down out of heaven
As we seek His face.

A loud voice from the throne one day shall declare;
“God’s dwelling is come
Justice abides forever on earth.
Radiant light and peace from the eternal son.”


Do we see how He sees?

I met with a good old friend today.  She’s not old…we are just old friends.  It was refreshing to be in one another’s presence.  There was laughter, tears, admonishment, and prayer.  We may not land on the exact same spot on every single issue, but we do have a deep love for one another and a desire to see each other running our race un-hindered.  Jesus was in our midst and I think He was smiling.  Yes…Jesus loves to see His body in action.


He shed His precious blood for this purpose.

“7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he[d] made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.”   Ephesians 1:1-10

What is God doing in this hour?  One thing I believe is that He is teaching us what it looks like to be the fully functioning body and bride of Christ.

Personally, I am discovering more and more what this looks like.  My heart is being enlarged for His body.  He has been renewing my mind to see (hopefully) more clearly His heart for unity in the big “C” church.

In fact, this scripture is truly a mind bender in verse ten where it says, “To be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment – to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.”

Jesus is going to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth!  Wowzers..that is going to be beyond my imagination awesome and amazing!

I was talking to another friend recently about this issue and she said, “Heaven is really going to be a learning curve for some people.”

Ouch!  .

I’m certain that there will be a learning curve for all of us, but I’m trying to learn now to see the body the way He sees it.

You don’t need a PhD to recognize the body is diverse.  Yes, there are many streams and they flow and function in unique ways.  What Jesus is teaching me is that He is the head of the Church…and whether we like it or not we are stuck with one another for all of eternity.  The more we learn to love one another here the less culture shock heaven will be.

The “poor reflection” we see now is not only how we see Christ, but I think also how we see one another.  When we see “fully” in Heaven, our eyes will be opened to see each member of the body the way Jesus created them.

No more misunderstandings, competition, jealousy, or strife.  Just  pure love for one another.


I will look forward to that day.  In the mean time I’m going to pray for open eyes to see others the way He sees them…..for His glory and for the building of His big “C” church.


Your Win = My Win

I couldn’t help but notice these banners at the MSU Field House this past week during my son’s track practice.


Each banner marks championship won by an MSU individual or sports team.  Some date way back.  Every school has similar memorials serving as important reminders of their history and giving hope for future wins.


It got me thinking about the history of the Church.   Curious about past spiritual battles that have been won, I wondered if there are banners in Heaven displaying those victories?  It’s fun to imagine how they might be memorialized there.  I’m confident Heaven keeps a record.

Some past spiritual victories have been very publicly documented.  Like the ones we get to read about in scripture.  God gave victories to Gideon, David, Moses, and others.  I love reading the bible, digest it regularly, and am continually discovering God in it. I love the history that resides in its pages.  I’m also keenly aware that the story of the Church, His Bride, is still being written.

His Church

Sometimes it’s difficult to remember the bigger picture that God has one team and all who are in Christ are on that team.  Yes, we enter different buildings on Sunday mornings, but we are one in Him.

1 Corinthians 12:27

“27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”

Yup, that’s right.  We are one body.  God knew what He was doing when He made us one.  Truly, a body functions best when all its parts are attached and operating in unity.  Paul used an illustration by saying that the eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” (vs.21)  Paul makes his point.

Competition in sports is what makes watching entertaining.  Competition in the Church is like watching your right hand try to compete against your left. It is pointless and distracts from the main goal.  We are on the same team.

All believers who live and breathe on the planet today are wearing the same jersey.  We are joined with those who have gone before us and the believer who lives on the other side of the earth. Their victories are our victories.   Your win is my win.

The way I see it, we will be spending A LOT of time together in the near future celebrating each win for the team.  For all of eternity we will worship the ONE who won the victory we share in Him.

I might get to watch some of the super bowl on Sunday. I’ll pick a team and root for them.  One team will win and one will lose. We will drift off to sleep a little fuller and hopefully well entertained.

Another day is coming when we will stand before our Lord and give an account for how well we fought together for what He paid for.  Did we honor or argue?  Did we compare or prefer? Were we proud or humble?

I’m thinking the way to win is to take the low road of humility, pray our guts out for God to divinely move in the Earth, and to LOVE one another….like Jesus commanded.  On this planet we won’t physically all worship together under one roof, but we can be together in spirit and oneness, celebrating each win as a win for the team.