Week 14…..Self Thoughts
“…it is time to soberly ask an eternally weighty question:
Does God have an opinion about my self-thoughts?” (Alicia Chole in the 7th year)
I’ve been pretty comfortable so far with the 7Th year journey. Writing out various aspects of my life story on a time line and exploring my God-concept has been revealing, insightful, and growth enhancing.
I’ve been finding more balance with my time and learning to better care for my soul. Week 14’s assignment, however, was more of a stretch, and perhaps that is why it’s taken me nearly the entire summer to write this post—that, and the reality of camp management being a 24/7 job. Our camp season officially ends in mid-October, at which time I hope to return to more regular blog updates.
The benefit of not posting all summer was that I had several weeks to consider the assignment for week 14: Simply take note of what I say to myself, about myself. What I’ve realized is that I actually don’t say a whole lot to myself . . . my mind is full of the tasks before me, problem-solving those tasks, and prayer. I do think that this exercise helped me to uncover some things that I have come to realize about myself.
This is what I discovered:
1) I had a hard time thinking about how to script this post for fear that having a healthy and positive view of myself might be too difficult for my readers to relate to.
2) I obviously care too much about what others might think if I can’t just be flat-out honest in the first place.
3) I became more aware of God’s love for me this summer and I feel more loved by Him than I ever have in my entire life.
4) I’m not sure whether or not I actually talk to myself much at all.
5) I realized that I whine when I am too tired.
6) I’m learning to overcome this weakness.
7) I’m growing to be more patient with my kids.
8) I love quiet time, and being in God’s presence.
9) I love justice, and I’m growing in my ability to confront injustice with humility, love, and truth.
10) I do not cave easily to despair—I maintain hope even when things don’t appear to be hopeful.
11) I’m learning to be more dependent on the voice of the Lord, and less dependent on my own wisdom.
12) I’m learning more about what I like and what I don’t like. For example, after 20 years of marriage and 4 children, I finally admitted to myself that I don’t like to cook.
13) I’m perfectly OK with this discovery and have started paying a good friend to prepare a few meals a week for my family. (Actually, it’s costing less than when I cook! It’s a win-win!)
14) I’m growing in my appreciation for true, authentic, organic relationships.
15) I feel like the Lord has been preparing me all summer for future ministry steps. I have a much greater vision for seeing His kingdom become “on earth as it is in Heaven.”
16) I completely believe that He has chosen me as one of the “foolish” who is and will confound the wise.
17) I am thrilled to be a part of what I believe is a soon-approaching revival. It’s like the air is filled with expectancy for many who are going to be saved, healed, and delivered.
18) I’m choosing to line up with what God says and feels about me; this is necessary in order for me to fulfill the destiny and plan He has for my life.