Nothing is impossible for God. Knowing this is true does not change the fact that I’m constantly faced with situations that challenge my perception of His abilities. If He’s capable of doing anything why doesn’t He immediately rescue and deliver me from all my suffering?
In week five of The 7Th year my assignment was to document how I perceived God during different stages of my life.
As a child, God was near and good.
While attending middle school church camp I experienced His personal nature and power for the first time. My eyes were open to the reality that He speaks and heals. For the first time God did not seem boring to me. He was alive, close, and desired intimate relationship with me.
And yet, I still walked away from him. God was good, but I choose to believe a lie that seeking my own pursuits would somehow bring more fulfillment. Empty and broken I returned to Him and He received me with open arms. I knew almost immediately that I wanted to serve Him with all my heart and life.
Experiencing His forgiveness was like having 10,ooo lbs of bricks taken off of me. However I still saw God as distant, untouchable, and impersonal. I was bowed down at the feet of His throne, needing to perform for His acceptance.
Thankfully He has taught me how to over come many of those false perceptions. I’ve gained a greater understanding of How much He loves me, holds me on His lap, and is fully pleased with me. Yes, I said it. God is pleased with me and I know it…deep inside….I know He loves me beyond my comprehension.
A few months ago I had an encounter with Jesus in a dream that deeply impacted me. Encounters with Jesus will do that, because you’re never the same after being in His presence. He came to me as a courter filled with excitement about the future plans the Father has for my life. It’s been impossible for me to find words to describe the experience. All I can say is that He is pleased with me and thrilled about my destiny.
I understand now I was graced with that experience because a time of testing was coming. God has called me and my husband into a time of pioneering, plowing, and sowing. In translation: working without pay. 🙂 This season has lasted longer than I thought it would and my patience has waned. God has been faithful to provide, but I’ve been tempted to wine, complain, and feel sorry for myself. This past week I’ve had to evaluate how I view God in light of the current financial strain.
Our new pastor recently did a sermon series on finances. He taught all the biblical principles that our family has followed. Each week I felt irritated as Pastor John would preach. Don’t get me wrong, he was teaching the truth about sowing and reaping. The scripture teaches that God will pour out blessings into our lives as we are faithful to give. Hearing that truth was what irritated me. If giving leads to blessings from God perhaps He lost my address.
I don’t know how long this season will last but I’m realizing that it’s a test. I’m trusting that my Father has my best interest in mind. He is developing more of HIM in ME and that has more eternal value than being comfortable. A friend exhorted me this week to “get out of my circumstance” and see where God is. It was a necessary encouragement. If all I see is my current situation I’m in danger of losing focus and being deceived. Keeping my eyes on Jesus and not my circumstance will produce His life in and through me.
The Father is gently reminding me again that He is close and that nothing is impossible for Him.
I’m looking forward to sharing with you soon testimonies of how God has divinely and strategically brought victories in our life, ministry, and finances.